Showing posts with label god's throne. Show all posts
Showing posts with label god's throne. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Viva Las Kolob

Kolob is the star or planet that is nearest the throne of god (I know right, starting to sound kinda Scientology-ie). Don't worry this isn't something Mormons really spend a lot of time thinking about. In fact they kinda just throw it in the junk drawer of their memory and every once and awhile find it and say, "oh yeah, I remember that." and then quickly throw it back in and forget about it. I personally was never taught that this is where god lives, although many Anti-Mormon dicks assume this.
Here's where our buddy Joe Smith got it from:
So, I know what you're thinking, "Why didn't Brother Jack (me) just show this picture from the beginning? It clears up everything. Now I know everything there is to know about Kolob. It's not weird at all!" For those of y'all thinking that, bare with me as I break it down a little.
See right there in the middle, the little number 1? That's Kolob.
Now is it an actual physical place? Or does star just refer to a soul? Kinda like Lucifer being a star fallen from heaven.
If you think the first then Kolob has to be the center of the Universe, or at least the Galaxy. It is the star that governs all other stars. So our sun revolves around Kolob, as do many other stars. This also means that god has a physical throne somewhere where he likes to sit and watch us fight and have sex and worry about Mayan prophecies.
If you think this might be a metaphor for something, doesn't it seem likely that it would be Jesus who is nearest the throne of god and governs all the other stars (souls/people).
Anyway there are plenty of Mos that believe both things, so it's a little tricky. But to me this is no harder to believe than Jonah or Noah or Elijah (they're all hard to believe).
Oh, and by the way, Kolob is the inspiration for Battlestar Galactica's Kobol! Tricky Mormons slipping bits of their doctrine into TV shows. There are more BSG/Mormon similarities, but I'm just talking about Kolob in this post, so check it out somewhere else, cause I don't think I'll ever write about it.